Parenthood episode- I looked them in the eyes

Last week’s parenthood was so telling when it comes to the raw emotions of watching our children struggle with understanding other people’s perspective.  My eyes instantly started to burn as I fought back the tears as I watched *mom* watch Max sitting on the playground reading a book as the other children interacted.  If you missed the episode, you can find it here http://www.nbc.com/parenthood/

I also enjoyed watching the writers roundtable  here www.nbc.com/.../1354851 and here is where Jason Katims talks about the asperger’s storyline taken from * real life*

Of course as I watched parenthood, and watched the classroom scene ( raise your hand if you felt like reaching through the TV into that classroom??), along with the lunchroom and playground, I could not help but know that a parent of a child with Autism had to be involved in the writing.  We, as a community, can relate to the emotions that we all go through, no matter what side of the spectrum our children fall.

Nothing rang more true to me that our children just want to understand.  They want to get what other people around them seem to get without having to work at it!  For children with Aspergers, and HFA, the *only* thing that *seems* to stand in the way of this ability to understand friendships and relationships, is that they are hung up on rules, black and white thinking, and instrumental language to try and connect with others.  I say only and seems because *understanding friendships* is really not a skill we learn,  at least at its core.  It starts as early as 2 months old when a typical child will learn how to tune into another person.  This progression thoughout the first year of life is CRUCIAL to development of the social *ability* to understand friendships.  This video is just one example of how early these milestones are in place.
Click here

Without fundalmental developmental milestones in place, its no wonder that Max is baffled on why his introduction and * looking* did not get him the result he expected.

Imagine if a child could not understand that the other person has a perspective…and that a relationship is the merging of what is happening between two people ( I have thoughts, you have thoughts)!  Think about how this affects each area of interaction with your own child.  Do they ever ask what you are thinking?  Do you feel as though you are doing all the *work* in the conversation?( A sure sign of this is questions questions and more questions)

Last week I had the pleasure of giving a 2.5 hour lecture at Camden County College. IN that talk, I covered the way we all process information regarding relationships and perspective.  I went through typical development and with each stage, showed what *that* looks like and then showed videos with strategies to help fill in those missed milestones for our kids on the spectrum.  I used video clips from families I work with and also showed my own children…before and after,  helping them to *get back* on their developmental track.

I continue to love that shows like Parenthood open the dialogue for how to help our kids and families after those initial words are heard “ your child has Autism”

Comments

  1. poohderOctober 8, 2011 at 1:29 PM

    because of this blog post, I watched Parenthood for the first time this week. Good show. Thanks

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

RDI in school

RDI is an intervention that addresses dynamic intelligence ( Theory of mind) in our children.   For school age children, being able to take on perspective, understand critical thinking, emotionally regulate with another person, and reflect on their surroundings is crucial.   If our children were not given this opportunity before 5 years old, it is never too late to lay the foundation for Dynamic thinking and improve a child’s quality of life and social understanding. Below is a chart that outlines static and dynamic intelligence.   Static thinking is what you know. For example, formulas, procedures (like following a recipe), memorized information (like multiplication tables), habits and routine.   You will note that much of the static column is what comes easier for our children because of the effects of Autism on their neurology.   The Dynamic column is what so many of our children struggle with.   Dynamic thinking involves flexible thinking, experien...
Read more

A powerful conversation strategy for individuals with ASD.

I googled Communication and Autism…this is what the highlight said People with autism have challenges with communication and social skills. They often find it hard to have conversations and may not pick up on social cues. Some people with autism may not talk at all, and others may talk very well. But all will have some challenges making friends and communicating socially. With my own experience as an Autism Parent, and the 15 years involved in RDI, I believe we still need to catch up to what the research says regarding how we can help individuals with Autism communicate.   Not one of us learned how to communicate through a set of social stories or teachings on what to say over every single possible situation that could occur…as if that would even be possible. We cannot control what other people say to us, life is not a script that everyone follows.   While perhaps well meaning, in Autism Circles today, this method of “if this ...
Read more

The Parent Child Relationship in Autism

Welcome to our series on The power of Episodic Memory in Autism .  The Main text will be Part 1 and Part 2 .  Along with these two foundational blog posts will be posts going into additional detail with examples and applications.  We welcome your questions and comments as you read through and think about your own family,  which will help inspire future blog posts. Thank you to Sharon for starting this series with the backbone centered around episodic memory.  Sharon's contact info can be found at the end of this article.  Our self-identity is formed through personal memories created in specific moments in everyday life that connect emotions, experience and events as lived in episodes, exclusive to us as individuals (Tulving, 2002).  In a nutshell, we could both be in the same place at the same time, we may or may not be there together and yet the emotional experience that we come away with could be very different.  For in...
Read more